My son experienced anaphylaxis… And I’m (sort of) glad.
My very laid back & quite often forgetful son, Ben, doesn’t take his allergies as serious as I’d like him to (or at least he doesn’t seem to remember to). And unfortunately for both of us, his somewhat relaxed attitude has turned me into one of my worst fears… a NAG!
Ben, don’t forget to take your auto injectors with you!
Ben, did you even ASK before eating that?
Ben, where did you leave your emergency meds?
Ben! Ben! BEEEEEN!
The one time I didn’t nag, which was just a couple of weeks ago, IT finally happened. Yep, the “it” all parents of kids with food allergies dread… My son had a severe allergic reaction, AKA anaphylaxis. It was the full-blown kind with epinephrine injections, an emergency room visit and the worst possible panic. And all because of a slice of KEY. LIME. PIE.
Yes, I was present, and yes, I totally blame myself. I watched him order the dessert, and even though we informed the waitress about his severe allergies when we arrived, I should have reminded her. I should have asked her to double check the pie’s ingredients. Instead, I internalized it all, debating it out in my own head… “He’s ordering key lime pie, not a brownie. We’ve eaten here a thousand times already, and I already told the server about his allergies. Besides, I’m so tired of always sounding like an overbearing nag, and I hate that asking always makes Ben feel uncomfortable.” Enough said. I was wrong on all accounts because it turns out the graham CRUST of this particular key lime pie is made with PECANS. (I found this out when I called the restaurant from the ER.)
Ben, who recently turned 11, has never had that severe of a reaction before. And as the two of us lay tiredly in the hospital together following Benadryl, PANIC, two shots of epinephrine, FRUSTRATION, steroids and ANGER (at myself), I made sure to tell him that:
One, I was wrong not to double check the pie’s ingredients;
Two, we should both learn from my mistake; and
Three, he’s getting older and is going to find himself in many situations where he’ll have to fend for himself. (This last point I really drove home.)
I told him to NEVER let his guard down and to learn to become his own first line of defense. I reminded him of the tragic news stories we read year after year, which mostly involve teenagers with severe allergies – not kids with food allergies – who die of an accidental exposure and anaphylaxis. This… THIS… is my worst fear.
I used to think the early toddler years were going to be the most challenging in keeping him safe, but I realize it’s the teenage years and beyond that I fear the most, when the nag will reluctantly not always be around. And so, if this was going to happen, then perhaps this was the best time – the time when Ben is old enough to remember, but not yet as invincible as teenagers believe themselves to be.
A few nights after the incident, as Ben was preparing to spend the night at my mom’s house, he came into my office and for the first time ever asked, “Mom, where are my allergy medicines? I want to take them with me.” Ahhhh…. I couldn’t help but to smile knowing he wanted to be prepared by packing his allergy medicines. : )
As he walked out to grab his meds, it occurred to me that maybe this dreaded and terrible experience wasn’t really such a bad thing after all. It’s helped him to remember his allergy medicines, which tells me he’s thinking about his allergy and our recent experience, and this makes me hopeful that he’ll continue to remember – perhaps preventing a future incident where I won’t be present. And for that, maybe I’m almost, kind of, a teensy, tiny bit glad IT happened.
As parents, teach your kids the importance of packing allergy medicines with them to carry on-the-go so they’re prepared at all times! Stop by your local CVS to pick up one of our medicine cases that holds 2 Epi-Pens and easily attaches to kids’ backpacks or lunch bags. Once you buy one, send us your CVS receipt showing the purchase and we’ll say thank you with a FREE activity booklet and a chance to win a year-long subscription to our allergy-friendly goodie box!
Iris
P.S. If you have kids with food allergies who have experienced a similar situation, please share it with our community in the Comments below. You never know who you may help in the process. Also, for more stories like this, sign up to get AllerMates newsletter.
Iris Shamus Wife, mother to three awesome kids and founder/CEO of AllerMates. Based in New York, Iris and her team create helpful content, answer emails, ship their products and obsess every day about keeping kids safe.